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MCU life tip: Change foes to friends by seeking advice

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Sometimes a person just doesn’t like you, and you’re not sure why. We’ve all experienced this. Whether it’s a colleague at work, a relative, or an ornery neighbor, my simple method will often repair the relationship instantly.

I’ve used this powerful tactic dozens of times in my life, so consider that it has been thoroughly field tested. I’ve even used it at poker to convert belligerent opponents from enemies to friends.You’ll be surprised how quickly and permanently this will fix the problem.

How to apply the technique

Ask a question. Seek advice. That’s all there is to it. When you surprise Paula, who has always been hostile toward you for no apparent reason, by asking for advice, you’re likely to see a sudden change in her attitude toward you.

Just take her aside as if there have never been hard feelings and say something like, “I have a tough situation. How would you handle this?” Make certain that the advice you’re seeking has nothing whatsoever to do with your personal relationship. Try to make the question seem natural by choosing a topic that relates to Paula’s professional, family, or social expertise.

You’ve flattered Paula by valuing her opinion and — very often — you’ll have made all her negative feelings instantly disappear. You’ve won a friend going forward. Sound too simple? Try it. — MC

Boston Marathon poll (Caro blog)
BLOG, Controversy, News
Caro’s lonely opinion about smoking and poker
ALL (newest first), Controversy, POKER, Tells
Fast 2014-09-16: Murder of contemporary music
ADDED FAST, ALL (newest first), AUDIO AND VIDEO, Controversy, Life, Thoughts, Video
Fast 2014-09-22: Caro proven wrong? Say it ain’t so!
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Fast 2014-11-29: Atheist billboard misunderstood
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Fast 2014-12-18: Tell Sony to release movie
ADDED FAST, ALL (newest first), Controversy, Exclude ads, Life, News
I lost my marbles. And then I learned poker.
Controversy, Gambling, POKER
Mike Caro poker word is Cheat
Controversy, Ethics, Life
Mike Caro poker word is Law
Controversy, Online, POKER
More hot, haunting notes from the past
Controversy, Life, POKER, Strategy
Poker players, fellow gamblers: We’re being conned
Controversy, Gambling, Online, Psychology
Poker rules players argue about — but I’m right!
Cardrooms, Controversy, POKER, Rules
So-called “New Poker” is a disgrace
Fundamental poker truth never changes
ALL (newest first), Controversy, General, POKER, Strategy
The crime of gambling + truth about breaking even
Controversy, Gambling, Motivation
Vote: 2012 Olympics opening ceremony (Caro blog)
BLOG, Controversy, Creativity
Why Internet gambling is on the wrong track
Controversy, Gambling, Online, Thoughts
Why jury duty is bad poker (Caro blog)
ALL (newest first), BLOG, Calculation, Controversy, Life, POKER
World Poker Tour makes Monster mistake (Caro blog)
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↓ Tip collections ↓

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↓ Contributor collections ↓

Brunson  •  Caro  •  McHaffie  •  Wiesenberg  •  Others*

↓ More collections ↓

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Mike Caro

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Known as the “Mad Genius of Poker,” Mike Caro is generally regarded as today's foremost authority on poker strategy, psychology, and statistics. He is the founder of Mike Caro University of Poker, Gaming, and Life Strategy (MCU). See full bio → HERE.

5 thoughts on “MCU life tip: Change foes to friends by seeking advice”

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  1. This is timely! Yesterday at the WSOP national series event in Venice, a player simply hated me. As a rare female in the Italian field, I often feel singled out as a foe. Unfortunately, my Italian isn’t at a level high enough to use this technique. Any other suggestions?

    1. Hi, Kelly —

      Good luck in the tournament. I’d have to think about it, but I doubt that my advice would work directly in the language-barrier situation you describe. Sorry. Just win.

      Straight Flushes,
      Mike Caro

  2. Great logical advice that I plan to start putting to use immediately! Seems to me this will also decrease the probability that I would put myself on tilt in reaction to someone who openly didn;t like me at a poker table. Thanks, Mr. Caro!

  3. This is good advice! I have done this, and it works amazingly well. Why not make a new friend?

    Thanks Mike for all of your advice and knowledge.

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