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MCU life tip: Change foes to friends by seeking advice

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Sometimes a person just doesn’t like you, and you’re not sure why. We’ve all experienced this. Whether it’s a colleague at work, a relative, or an ornery neighbor, my simple method will often repair the relationship instantly.

I’ve used this powerful tactic dozens of times in my life, so consider that it has been thoroughly field tested. I’ve even used it at poker to convert belligerent opponents from enemies to friends.You’ll be surprised how quickly and permanently this will fix the problem.

How to apply the technique

Ask a question. Seek advice. That’s all there is to it. When you surprise Paula, who has always been hostile toward you for no apparent reason, by asking for advice, you’re likely to see a sudden change in her attitude toward you.

Just take her aside as if there have never been hard feelings and say something like, “I have a tough situation. How would you handle this?” Make certain that the advice you’re seeking has nothing whatsoever to do with your personal relationship. Try to make the question seem natural by choosing a topic that relates to Paula’s professional, family, or social expertise.

You’ve flattered Paula by valuing her opinion and — very often — you’ll have made all her negative feelings instantly disappear. You’ve won a friend going forward. Sound too simple? Try it. — MC

“Mad Genius” ego damage and the nature of poker
Biographical, Image, Motivation, Psychology
An unpredictable image can make a difference
ALL (newest first), General, Image, Manipulation, POKER, SPOTLIGHT, Strategy
Bad poker science and a disagreement
ALL (newest first), Image, Manipulation, POKER, Psychology, Strategy
Big profit from poker equity
Image, Manipulation, POKER, Strategy
Book (Caro on Gambling) 01. Plodders
Bankroll, Gambling, Image, Motivation
Brunson: Finding the right poker style for you
Entries by others, General, Image
Brunson: If you play tight, keep it secret
Entries by others, General, Image
Brunson: Letting opponents tie their own nooses
Entries by others, General, Image, Manipulation, Motivation, Strategy
Brunson: Pride and poverty
Entries by others, General, Image
Brunson: Proving your poker prowess takes time
Entries by others, Image, Manipulation, Other games
Brunson: When calling doesn’t make sense
Entries by others, Hold 'em, Image
Chip leverage: The poker myth that won’t die
Image, POKER, Strategy, Tournaments
Don’t “go quiet” when you have psychological control
Image, Manipulation, Strategy
Fast 2014-09-14: Belligerent poker opponents
ADDED FAST, ALL (newest first), Image, Manipulation, Psychology
Great mistakes in poker tells
Image, Tells
How I got 8-5 to call on the river in hold ’em
Hold 'em, Image, Manipulation, Psychology
How intimidation works and fails in poker
Image, Manipulation
How to avoid the poker disaster of going quiet
Image, Manipulation, SPOTLIGHT
Letting poker opponents make their own nooses
ALL (newest first), General, Image, Manipulation, POKER, Strategy
Lies told about psychology in poker
Image, Manipulation, SPOTLIGHT, Statistics
1 2 3 6

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Published by

Mike Caro

Visit Mike on   → Twitter   ♠ OR ♠    → FaceBook

Known as the “Mad Genius of Poker,” Mike Caro is generally regarded as today's foremost authority on poker strategy, psychology, and statistics. He is the founder of Mike Caro University of Poker, Gaming, and Life Strategy (MCU). See full bio → HERE.

5 thoughts on “MCU life tip: Change foes to friends by seeking advice”

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  1. This is timely! Yesterday at the WSOP national series event in Venice, a player simply hated me. As a rare female in the Italian field, I often feel singled out as a foe. Unfortunately, my Italian isn’t at a level high enough to use this technique. Any other suggestions?

    1. Hi, Kelly —

      Good luck in the tournament. I’d have to think about it, but I doubt that my advice would work directly in the language-barrier situation you describe. Sorry. Just win.

      Straight Flushes,
      Mike Caro

  2. Great logical advice that I plan to start putting to use immediately! Seems to me this will also decrease the probability that I would put myself on tilt in reaction to someone who openly didn;t like me at a poker table. Thanks, Mr. Caro!

  3. This is good advice! I have done this, and it works amazingly well. Why not make a new friend?

    Thanks Mike for all of your advice and knowledge.

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